What If, Anyway

Hillary marra, March 2017

What if, anyway
I found myself in the kitchen
Found my way in
It’s whispering seduction calling my name

What if, anyway
I landed there, like a jump on the ice,
Believing I was good enough
Believing, I was enough

What if, anyway
I could feel
Drenched in the waters
Potential realized
Like the magenta radish beneath the earth
Like lettuce leaves hugging each other, raindrops dancing on their tongues of
Garden party of my soul
I let go
Like tomatoes ready to burst with their essence, their gifts
And potential realized
Their gentle giving up
Believing, trust
They will land when they fall
No longer clinging to their vines
No longer an option
Ready now

What if, anyway
A different day
I found myself in the kitchen
The thirst hunger longing be-longing
All the longings satisfied in that little room
My sanctuary to feed and fill my many hungers
That a good time provides
Nature has no judges
No judges live here without their cloaks
No harsh inner critics
No boundaries
In the fresh open air that feeds hungry, thirsty spirits of longing
Gone numb so long ago
No judges at all here
In my world
Where anything is possible now
And I can take flight

What if, anyway
Soft children’s fingers on tender skin
Sharing a tomato
Hand on hand
Holding it
So sweet
As life should be
All along
And basket for the food pantry
Who is hungry and who is full
Of longing and desire
Laughter personified in this land of garden
Loud and lingering
And in silence
We touch share taste feel
Our breath
And what we were meant to feel nourish and birth
The giftings within each of us
We help each other
Build each other up
Instead of tear down
Safe softness
Nectar tickling on our tongues
Shared laughter loud and round
Like a ball bouncing
It belongs
With us in between inhaling the lavender, petting the parsley, hands touching,
Bodies swaying, hair intertwined,
Together with our calling, the earth, each other
As it should be
Sweet fruits, our nectar unwrapped
Unwrapping my childhood here
It was always there
My fruits
To land here
The lure of the kitchen
The beginning of it all
Its void
Innocent and empty
Sweet seduction calling

What if, anyway
I found it
Loud and strong
The pull
Calling my name
And, why not? Why not, me?
The complete earth
Slipping through my fingers and not away
Caressing the dreams of my youth
That I belong
Whispering praises of yes, yes, child

What if, anyway